One of my leadership activities is being a business coach. I help others identify their goals and plan strategies to achieve their goals. Very often, the initial coaching goes something like this-
"What are your goals?"
"These are my goals."
"What do you need to do to achieve these goals?"
"I need to do a,b,c."
"When do you want to have these goals achieved?"
"By this date." And then off they go. OK- so there is more, but this boils it down to the essentials.
Next coaching (after they have actually done some of the steps) sometimes goes like this-
"No one will a or b."
"What was their objection?"
"I asked them to a or b for me, and they just said no."
"What did you offer them?"
"I offered them a or b and they said no."
"What was in it for them?"
"I didn't even get to tell them because they said no."
"So why would they want a or b?"
"Because... I don't really know..." Exactly!
Leaders know that the best way to close the deal is to find the need, then fill the need.
Are you just asking for a favor? Does what you want have anything to do with their decision? Will they just do what you tell them to do, because you told them to do it? (Oh, how I wish that were true!)
You have to take you out of the equation. What do you have to offer them? Who's need can you fill? Do they really want or need what you are offering? By filling their needs, you will ultimately meet your goals. You will experience less rejection because you are not offering until you know if you have anything of value for them.
Find their need. Fill their need. It's not about you, it's about them.